Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
