i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
