Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
