Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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