so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
All the doctor said was why
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