I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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