Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize