just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
