Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
