lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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