I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I need moral support for this bender
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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