i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
home. puking in laundry basket.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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