i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
it was like having sex with a tree stump
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
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