fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
