Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
