I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Sorry my hands just texted you
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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