"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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