cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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