You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
