I murdered the dance floor call the cops
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Randomize
