I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
