but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Let's paint friendship bongs
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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