So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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