there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
