Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
