great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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