He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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