he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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