so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
