You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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