soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
