dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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