It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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