Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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