I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
