She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
