Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize