i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
