if i died would you start the facebook group?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
