there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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