im drinking this country out of the recession.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize