she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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