are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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