i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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