Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
