well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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