Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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