I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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