It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
