Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
