Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
