So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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