My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
