can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
and you fell through a lawn chair
Randomize
