Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
