we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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