My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
