She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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